Changes

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while.

A couple of weeks back a friend told me in a sarcastic, teasing manner that 6 months have passed since I’ve been residing in the same place in Manchester.The obvious reason of this is the constant moving around in this great metropolis. I have lived in 5 different places since I’ve been here (2 years 7 months). Previously, while living in Mexico City, I changed another 5 times (7 years); the only long term house has been that of my parents 18 long years. Eleven different houses of which only one has been really home.

The decisions to go to Mexico City and Manchester have been consciously and thoroughly thought through. It never crossed my mind of the affects this would have, I didn’t think about anyone else but me and my brilliant future. I knew from the start that it was I who wanted the change to happen. I was ready to face the unknown. Some friends could not understand why I needed to leave and experience other things, while others, sad but excited encouraged me to take that first step into a new world without the protection of my family and loved ones. So it was me who took the plunges and other had to accept it. I was the one moving and they were the ones staying behind.

Now, seating down in front of my PC, looking back at the last 2 months I realise how one person’s decision can change someone’s life, turn it upside down from one day to another. It only takes a couple of seconds to unleash a chained reaction of events. The consequences are immeasurable; no one truly knows the extent or magnitude of it. Sounds dramatic but its true, however, sometimes those decisions have to be made even if you know or expects what is coming, selfish as it sounds, you have to think about what is best for you, what you want.

The day has arrived where the influence of those external decisions has altered the way a live my life. Not in a bad or good way, it’s just different from what I have been accustomed to. It’s now my turn to accept what has been imposed. I look back and I wonder what changes I have provoked when I took those big decisions of moving out of my home and my country. Time will be in charge of making me know the consequences.

“The whole world is moving and I'm standing still.”

Open Book

Sometimes I would like to write something inspirational, but I guess today is not going to be the day.

I’ve always have considered myself shy, timid, an independent and solitary person. I have few friends but real friend. To open myself with someone I have to trust them and know they are discrete about my matters. In other words, I like to keep a low profile, making myself invisible to people that surround me; showing my true essence to those close to me, to the rest of the world I’m some mysterious woman. However, as 99% of the times I’m wrong, and the six sense of perception that all women have has been omitted from my being. Once again I have been proven wrong.

Just a week ago I realised that I’m an open book; anyone can figure me out just with two or three encounters. I don’t know if I should thank that person for opening my eyes to the fact that I lack my six sense or be annoyed that anyone can read me like a piece of paper. Of course, the writing on it is elegant, eloquent, gracious and brilliant.

Procrastinate

1. to defer action; delay: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost.
2. to put off till another day or time; defer; delay.
3. To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.
4. To postpone or delay needlessly.

Sad but true, I tend to use this verb with much frequency day after day. A good example, on this precise moment I‘m writing this post and watching TV instead of giving the final touches to the last designs of my experimental work. I blame all this procrastination to technology. If I didn’t have internet I would not be thinking of what to post, waste hours of precious time looking at funny videos in youtube; if TV didn’t exist I would be reading a good book, if phones didn’t exist I would be writing a beautiful and long letter to my loved ones, if gossip wasn’t so interesting I would be debating about global warming. Ohhh… we are all doomed to find ways to procrastinate. What can be done to stop this? Too many distractions, so little time and too much work.

Routines

It’s funny how easy it is to build up routines without realising it you already have hundred of little ones running your daily life. Getting up in the morning at certain hour to go to school or work, having your cup of tea a certain way, that morning shower, choosing what you are going to wear, etc. We don’t even notice them until the slightest change or alteration makes us revise what is wrong in the time frame.

This happened to me two Thursdays ago. I went to the cinema with a couple of friends. When we finished watching the movie, like always, we comment about it on the way out. A familiar voice which I couldn’t recognise was on the background. I turned around to see who it was; to my surprise I saw my eldest sister, Itzel, talking to one of my friends. I've forgotten she was there with me. It was an awkward sensation, two different kinds of familiar but not quite in their right place. It was good though that someone that I love so much and since I while back has not been part of my daily life (though I think about her a lot) was included in it. I haven’t realised until then how much I missed her. It was nice having her here with me even though it was for a short time.