Panic Attack II !

My presentation went okey. I had time to rehearse it for one whole week more which improved a little bit the confidence on the information I had included in the presentation. Although my photographs (results) were darken by the projector and you could not see what I was talking about I did ok. I had two or three questions which I answered as best I could. After the presentation several people told me it had been a good talk, another, colleague of mine, gave me some constructive criticism for the next time. However, I felt I could have done better and wasn't very happy with how I presented. There is always something which needs improving.

Panic Attack!!!!!

I just had to write this. I hate doing presentations. There was a time back in my early years where doing a presentation was a piece of cake. All you had to do is read a little more than usual for the subject. Explain it to a bunch of kids who were more interested on what was up their noses than what you had to say. As I grew up and developing that professional skill –if you want to put it that way- became important, my sudden confidence of what I wanted to transmit had been weaken. Now it was necessary to defend a posture, an idea or your work to a group of “connaisseurs” or “future boss” or “future clients” or so many ors. I could not rely any more on books to give me all the answers. I actually had to understand and get the main idea transmitted the right way; people were actually listening to what I had to say.

Today, I was to give a seminar on the research I’m doing for my PhD. Amongst the attendees are several experts in their field that do this for a living. They actually know what I am talking about. I had prepared my presentation since Sunday. Each time I would think about the presentation a Panic Attack will take all the will out of me. A colleague of mine would have to tell me and convince me to breathe again. Everyone was trying to help me out, to restore my confidence by saying: “Oh don’t worry you’ll be fine” or “It’s just practice its no big deal”.

It never occurred to me to check the date of the presentation. Now, I have a Valentin’s debt to pay, because I was too worried and some guy took advantage of my situation to make a bet on it. So I lost. I’m actually breathing normally again. We had a good laugh. I suppose at this time next Wednesday I’ll be doing my presentation. I have one more week to get my Panic attack worked up again.

By the way, I hate Valentine’s and now I have to take someone out… Lesson for me keep your cool at all time. Never make decisions when you are not thinking properly.